A Song of Freedom

A Song of Freedom
Penned many poems
Freedom
let Divinity shine
Unshackle
Still not free.
Body memories' cling tightly
Stinging tentacles sucking life force
Breathe
The simple act of breathing
Not simple
Not easy
When terror fills the heart.
Unnamed--unclaimed heart trembling fear
Dark secrets the padlock on prison cell door.
A yoga mat
Chanting
Pranyama
Holotropic breath
Pain
Fear
Rage
Paralysis
Flood of tears
Body's free to rant
Sweat pours from every pore.
Divine Sweet Love and Light
fill the room
Release
Heavenly Voices serenade rebirth
We are all ONE
Illusion of uniqueness GONE
Healing bathes each human
Until all that remains
is The Soul.


"Holotropic Breathwork™ is a powerful approach to self-exploration and healing that integrates insights from modern consciousness research, anthropology, various depth psychologies, transpersonal psychology, Eastern spiritual practices, and mystical traditions of the world. The name Holotropic means literally "moving toward wholeness" (from the Greek "holos"=whole and "trepein"=moving in the direction of something).

The process itself uses very simple means: it combines accelerated breathing with evocative music in a special set and setting. With the eyes closed and lying on a mat, each person uses their own breath and the music in the room to enter a non-ordinary state of consciousness. This state activates the natural inner healing process of the individual's psyche, bringing him or her a particular set of internal experiences. With the inner healing intelligence guiding the process, the quality and content brought forth is unique to each person and for that particular time and place."

In one of my early KMI Body Work sessions with David Vendetti, I told David that I believed we would be able to get rid of the tremors that have plagued me for decades. I had a traumatic memory surface and shared it with David. I am so grateful to Matthew Sanford and his book "Waking" which helped me to find the courage to allow my body to express itself and for me to listen to what my body is telling me. As Matthew says, when we are finally strong enough, our bodies release the traumatic memories which were held because the mind could not process them at the time.

David had me lie on my back and he placed his hand on my heart chakra asking me to place my hand on top of his so I knew we are in this together. My heart and soul knew to trust David. He had me begin accelerated breathing after letting me know that what I was experiencing was heart trembling fear. After the incredible release during that session David told me about holotropic breath work which I had also heard about from my individual yoga instructor Pat Donaher and the power of this work. David was not sure if/when his teacher trainees would be doing holotrophic breath work but if they did, would I be interested in doing a session with them. I said yes. After my last session with him before our break for his teacher training I forgot to ask him about the holotropic breath work session so I sent him an email. I had not heard anything until the morning of July 14th. David sent me an email the night before letting me know that they would be doing a breath work session and I am more than welcome to join them.

I had to make, in Ana Forrest's words a huge healing choice. I was scheduled to speak at the Marlboro Rotary Club but I knew that doing the breath work with the teacher trainees was an incredible healing opportunity. I sent an email to the Marlboro Rotary apologizing for my last minute cancellation but letting them know that I needed to take care of myself. I attributed my cancellation to the heat of the last several days (and in fact I was feeling very fatigued from the heat and the build up of a lot of 'stuff' that was weighing me down). Breathing deeply on the train to the studio I knew throughout my entire being that this was Divine intervention on my healing journey.

Todd and David welcomed me into their healing sanctuary and the family of teacher trainees literally and figuratively made space for me in the middle of the room. They put down a mat for me and got me a pillow with a pillow case. These simple, loving gestures set the tone for the work. At the end of the session as David gave me a hug goodbye he said, "Go write a beautiful poem or work in the garden" and so I did!

The words and meditations David used during the session along with his incredible physical support continue to echo in my heart and heal long after the session. I continue to find the courage to listen to what my body is communicating to me as traumatic memories move through - "Up and Out" as David likes to say.

This past week I have had to make some very difficult choices in relation to two members of my 'biological' family. I have been reflecting on how the illusion of family can draw me into relationships which compromise who I am and, to quote Ana again, dim my spirit. But when I move out the relationships which do not bring light, love and joy into my life, I am able to feel the deliciousness of Divine Love fill my body - heart and soul. I am so blessed to have a family of beautiful people in my life which extends beyond the definition of a 'traditional' family. I am forever grateful to Nicole Burrill, The Sassy Yogini for guiding me to the mat and opening the door to the most amazing group of people I have ever met. As I release and heal all that went before I am able to sing a song of freedom.

Speaking of singing - this past weekend we had a glorious time in Falmouth as Tom ran the Falmouth Road Race. We stayed at our favorite place - The Falmouth Inn oh and speaking of family before I get to singing -- We have been going to the Falmouth Inn for the past 16 years. We are always welcomed 'home'. I wrote a blog post about the sudden passing of the manager, Terry. We all shared in the grief of Terry's passing but talked about how we felt her strong spiritual presence. We laughed and we cried and I felt the blessing of family. So now back to singing...The Falmouth Inn is famous for its karaoke nights. Julia Roberts sang there many years ago along with celebrities who perform at the Barnstable County Fair. They had done away with the karaoke for the past year but as good fortune would have it, this was the first weekend they were back. I chose to sing Whitney Houston's The Greatest Love of All. I had such fun! As I took the mic in my hand which did not have a tremor I said in my best nightclub voice, 'Good evening everyone and welcome to the Falmouth Inn. I hope you are having a great time here tonight. My name is Mary and I'll be singing The Greatest Love of All."




Thank you Todd, David and the teacher trainees now yoga teachers and all the beautiful members of the yoga tribe for helping me to discover all the beauty I possess inside and for sharing the greatest love of all.

May you be able to sing your song of freedom and feel the deliciousness of Divine love and joy fill every cell of your body.

From my heart to yours
With overflowing love and gratitude,
Mary