"I've learned from pain now I wanna learn from joy."

Morley was coming to South Boston Yoga for David Vendetti's Sunday class. lululemon was sponsoring complimentary classes for his Sunday classes for the month of November. (How could I possibly refuse a free class with David). David's classes are wildly popular especially his Sunday morning class (last Sunday he had 140 yogis and yoginis!) so with these two events coinciding, he posted on FB to be sure to get their early to get your spot.

Getting places early is what I love to do - much to the chagrin of my daughter and husband. I decided to honor this part of me and asked David on facebook what time the studio would open. He said he and Todd would be there at 8 am. I planned on being there at 8. Truth telling - the origins of my need to be somewhere early comes from the fear of being left out or being left behind. (***collective compassionate sigh***) There is a whole array of memories which fuel this fear and last night during my meditation I sunk my teeth into all of them. I wrote poetic responses and I observed the anxiety. I was confident it would pass. I was confident that when I got to the other side I would feel fabulous.

I arrived at 8 am and set up my mat. I brought my lacrosse balls and blocks and rather than take time at home to do my stretches, I did them there while David and Todd set up. It wasn't long before David brought a woman next to me and said, "I cannot believe you two haven't met but here you are the first two people to arrive." She had introduced David to the song "May I Suggest?". She said "are you Mary of Mary's blog fame?" I was so totally blown away although by now I should not be surprised by how the Universe conspires to bring people together. She saw my blog on David's facebook page and because I tagged KMI Body Work, David and Tom Myers, she began to read my blog. She said that I inspired her to consider taking David's Teacher Training Program. She knows in her heart this is the next step for her. She said that something I said in one of my blogs really stuck with her and she wants to have the interconnectedness of being a KMI practitioner and a yoga teacher.

David refers to the yogis and yoginis who practice at South Boston Yoga as family. He will often talk about the family as he cues making sure the family is all together and he will wait to make sure everybody is together before giving the next cue for a particular pose. He relates this to having grown up in an Italian family where you always waited for everyone to be at the table before you begin to eat. Members of the family who I know came in. I have often said I feel that South Boston Yoga is a home. If home is where the heart is then yup it sure is. David and Todd create this open, warm and loving space. Today was over the top when it comes to loving heart energy as Morley serenaded the practice accompanied by Jeff Jones on percussion.

After having stalked and chased out many demons, I came to my mat this morning feeling strong in mind, body and spirit. I know about the power of collective consciousness and positive energy which is one of the many reasons I return to my yoga mat with the community at South Boston Yoga. Having had exposure to so much toxicity in my past, it is an incredible blessing to be in a place of love and healing. I feel that in addition to allowing the pain to heal, I am stepping into the joy. One of my favorite lyrics from Morley's song "Softly" from her CD "Days Like These": "I've learned from pain now I wanna learn from joy."

No I did not land Astavakrasana (pictured above) but I did play around with it on my right side and could envision myself coming off of the mat to do this inversion. It was a victory for me to cross my ankles and have the core strength to extend my legs. David had cued having us lower to squat, go into crow and then fly back to downward dog. I got into crow and hopped a little at a time heading back to downward dog but in my mind's eye, I could see myself flying.

What was so amazing about today's practice was that after clearing out the space inside which was seeping with traumatic memories, I had the space to entertain (and in some cases) execute possibility. This may sound strange but I really felt like a yogini today. Translation = I feel whole and alive and living more fully than I ever dreamed imaginable. I felt that I was fully present for my practice. I could feel a confidence and a fullness of being. I was out of my head, into my body and was aware of when I lost connection to my breath and got back into it as soon as I became aware of it reminding myself that this is what is going to fuel these poses and fuel my life.

David cues sugar cane from half moon. This is a pose in which you grab your foot and transition from half moon pose to dancer.





I envisioned myself grabbing my foot and then coming up and extending into dancer. What did I do? I used the pillar for support to get into dancer after half moon. David said we could be any kind of dancer we want - we could even be tiny dancer. At the beginning of practice, David reminds us to modify our practice any way we want to. I chose modifications and felt wonderful about the modifications I chose because they were mindful choices. They were not made out of a sense of inadequacy or being incapable of a pose but out of a sense of honoring MY BODY at any moment during the practice.

Near the end of practice it was time for back bends. As a preparation for back bend, David has us pulse our heels back. Right side - easy. Left side - not so much...as a matter of fact it was what I refer to as a dead zone. There was no neurological connection to get movement in that direction today. It hasn't happened during other classes but because I was so tuned into myself during practice, I was keenly aware of the disconnection. Thanks to Matthew Sanford, author of Waking, I knew that it was important to feel the connection from my brain to my foot even though movement was not the outcome. Matthew talks about the importance of experience being fully present regardless of movement outcome.

David gives us options for back bends and after I got myself to the crown of my head as I work my way into wheel some day, one of David's assistants, Carmen Thurston came over to ask me if I would like an assist to get up into a full back bend. As I got up into it, David cued from across the room - push Mary push. That's what I needed to propriocept straightening my arms. I once again opened into a full back bend letting everything go. Carmen was strong and supportive making sure everything felt okay as we went deeper into the pose. I was so grateful to her. The act of opening is so glorious and delicious and to be open brings me such joy. "I've learned from pain now I wanna learn from joy."

From the soon to be released "Songs of Freedom:Poems from a Healing Odyssey"

Finding Freedom

Who do you think you are?
I will beat you within an inch of your life
not even close.
Steady nerves
deep breaths
go into the belly of the beast and find freedom.

I know who I am
woman of grace, beauty, strength
I pledge allegiance to my Spirit
living Truth
being free.
Unchained melody
love overflows the heart
a love letter to me.

Smiling knowing Truth prevails
answering now to a higher authority.
You are dust
I am fully alive
With each breath I grow stronger
finding freedom.

Walking away from fear
finding freedom on my yoga mat
invoking my Spirit to come play
all my senses alive
finding freedom and healing in
new sights
new scents
new sounds
new delights.

To delight delightful Spirit
feeling freedom.


With overflowing love and gratitude,
Namaste
Mary