For Now

Running the 2009 Boston Marathon was the experience of a lifetime and one I wouldn't change for the world - well because silly you can't change what already happened. But as I look back on the experience and compare it to what I am doing now in my yoga practice, I realize that what I missed when I trained for the marathon was feeling the mind/body connection. In fact, I had to deny what my body was telling me in order to overcome the sensations in my body. I used my mind/body connection to push. I visualized warm lava flowing through my legs as I ran in the bitter New England cold. I would disconnect from the pain and push myself further and harder with each training run. Even into early 2011 I was still running in the winter on snow on ice chasing after the ever elusive PR's. I realize that you don't know what you don't know. I realize that I felt I had something to prove. At the time, it felt right.

From the time I was 5 years old I was told what was right for my body. You have to...and I am so grateful to the rehab doc and my physical therapist because they helped me to walk again but I had lost the mind/body connection. Nothing came from within. It was all in response to outside forces. After the diagnosis of post polio syndrome, my beloved physical therapist began the process of re establishing the mind/body connection. She introduced me to my breath and then incorporated pilates into my rehab. I hired a personal trainer after rehab and I was told that I had to do cardiovascular workouts 3-4 times/week getting my heart rate above a certain rate and do strength training on the other days.

I am so grateful I found my way to my yoga mat. I am now using my mind/body connection to weave my life back together. One of my favorite Matthew Sanford phrases is he felt like Humpty Dumpty; yoga was the glue that put him back together again. One of my 'struggles' right now is wondering if "I am doing enough" since I traded in my running shoes for bare feet and a yoga mat. When the weather is comfortable, I go for a 3 mile walk or I do the recumbent bike once a week. My body loves doing yoga. I often wonder who 'they' are when 'they' say you need to do cardio at least 3 times a week. My body says that when I do my yoga practice, it is receiving a wonderful workout. I decided to find a new 'they' and here it is: "Can yoga give you a good cardio workout?"

"Styles of yoga that offer a metabolic boost through their cardiovascular component are rooted in the Ashtanga Vinyassa system. So any Ashtanga yoga class is going to burn calories, as are classes that borrow from this ancient system, like power yoga, vinyassa yoga and others.

The benefit about the cardiovascular aspect of yoga classes is that they accelerate your heart rate without taxing your joints and bones like other forms of cardio exercise like running, aerobics or even cycling. This is not meant to offend these forms of fitness, but because of their high impact quality, they may not be accessible to people with joint problems or those recovering from an injury.

Cardiovascular forms of yoga work their magic through the dynamic breath that is linked to dynamic movements. Anyone who has ever done five Sun Salutations in a row knows firsthand just how tough yoga can be. Plus, with yoga, you get your cardio and strength-training workout in one. Even static postures will work your heart as you breathe deeply, hold the posture and focus on the lengthening and extending aspects of your limbs and torso."

I've decided that I need to let go of those preconceived notions about what I should be doing in order to stay fit and healthy. I look at my body in the mirror and since practicing yoga and doing KMI Body Work with David Vendetti, am amazed at what I see. Yesterday, in my individual lesson with Pat Donaher, part of my lesson was being able to prop myself up on my elbow and do a "Jane Fonda" as Pat called it with option to do leg lifts. It's about feeling comfortable in my own skin and allowing my body to work, to rest and to feel healthy and whole as I re establish a mind/body connection.

I get on the scale at the gym and I have lost 9 pounds since January. As a result of my yoga practice, I am more mindful of what I eat. My body craves fruits and vegetables. I feel taller and have much more access to my breath. Before a yoga practice and even in the beginning warm up phase of the practice, I am sore and stiff. I breathe through it knowing that by the end of the practice I will feel so much better. For the first time in my life, I feel an intimate connection to my body. I enjoy embracing the practice and feeling the flow of movements. I love feeling strength and grace. Each time on my mat is a new experience. I feel muscle soreness. After 'doing abs' walking upstairs is so much easier because everything is not in my legs. I have at last met my parasympathetic nervous system - the one that gets turned on to help with a sense of comfort and relaxation. My sympathetic nervous system - the fight/flight response has been turned way down and that solar plexus clutch that could happen at the drop of a hat is now better able to discriminate when it needs to be activated. The list goes on and on and on and on....

So I have decided to release those notions of what 'they say' I should be doing. As I said when I ran the marathon, I was not going against medical advice, I was going with what my body was telling me to do. That's worked well for me on this incredible journey. Yoga is nourishing me in mind, body and spirit and is a wondrous journey every time I step on my mat. So instead of the 'shoulds', I'm listening to what my body is telling me - for now.

From my heart to yours
With love and gratitude,
Mary