On Untying the Knot and Empowerment - My New Philosophy

Clearly Sally Brown is not the most skillful at sharing her viewpoint, but there is something to be said for being able to say no. I often think of saying no to someone as saying yes to myself. As a trauma survivor, it's been a challenge for me to experience my new philosophy and to execute it without drama and with compassion and kindness for both myself and another. But therein is where happiness, freedom and peace reside.

According to the Buddha, those people who master right speech:

Offend no one,
Yet they speak the truth.
Their words are clear,
But never harsh.
They do not take offense,
And they do not give it. Source: http://ronyabanks.com/2011/10/15/skillful-speech/

With my breath, and in meditation, I am untying the solar plexus clutch and knot in my stomach that often accompanies asserting my needs. I nourish myself with the words of wisdom and empowerment from my beloved yoga teachers. Before yoga, while I knew on an intellectual level that I had the right if you will to say no, I could not feel that sense of empowerment in my body. Hearing yogis choice, you decide when you want to back out of a pose or go deeper, listen to your body and being able to listen to my Spirit about what choices will help to light up or dim my Spirit is an incredibly empowering experience. One of the steps I take before responding to an email or a request from someone is to get still and listen. This is new for me because for the longest time I was a shoot from the hip kind of gal and that can get you into all sorts of entanglements. My reaction came from a place of needing to be needed and proving that I am worthy of love and respect. Ironically and sadly, being, as Ana Forrest calls it, a sacrificial whore only reinforces the lack of love and respect I felt for myself.

There is a process of neurological rewiring happening that accompanies the change in behavior. As long as I had myself all tied up in knots when I asserted my needs waiting for the 'repercussions', I couldn't experience happiness and freedom. Allowing Spirit to guide me and harnessing strength from my teachers and healers, unravels the emotions tied to the habitual patterns of behavior. Tears flow - a lot of tears flow as I grieve and let go of patterns that no longer serve me. Awareness and clarity of what happened is painful but as I said to my beloved husband and life partner the other day, the pain has gone from being hit with a 2 x 4 plank of wood to now being an annoying splinter. By the way, the solar plexus clutch and knot in the stomach doesn't only happen with asserting my needs and saying no. It accompanies the anticipation of a pleasurable experience such as the love I feel every time I walk into South Boston Yoga. or my upcoming San Francisco vacation with Tom. So I learn to breathe and remind myself that I am Divine worthy of a life filled with love, joy, laughter, happiness and freedom.

I am so grateful for where I am in my healing journey. Writing poetry continues to help heal the wounds. I go into this wonderful altered state of consciousness when I write. The peace helps to reset my nervous system and the words bathe my body as I feel this incredible connection to my soul. My yoga practice helps to keep me grounded and is building strength mind, body and spirit. Bodywork with compassionate, skilled and loving healers continues to reset the wiring that went haywire from being exposed to trauma. Living a life that is happy and free, sharing my wisdom, light and love with others and shedding the layers of what went before is such a gift. My 3rd book of inspirational poetry is available on Kindle. "Songs of Freedom:Poems From a Healing Odyssey.". I used to feel a huge knot in my stomach wondering what other people would think of my writing. I untie that knot feeling empowered by the gift of Spirit that speaks through my heart and into words knowing whomever is meant to be touched by them shall be and no one else matters - and that's my new philosophy!

From my heart to yours
With deepest love and heartfelt gratitude,
Mary